A constant fear of mine is that I am self-deceived when it comes to my sin. I fear that I’m not really serious about killing sin but just allowing it to easily express itself in other ways. I fear that I don’t care too much about holiness. I always try really hard to know my heart and its motives. When it comes to this activity, the problem I come across is that I find this activity incomplete and at times futile if I never involve godly people who I trust and who are willing to love me faithfully by speaking truth to me. And you know what?, it’s pretty hard to find people like this. But more and more I realize how incredibly important it is for me to have these kinds of people around me.
Another fear of mine is that I will look back when I’m old and realize I’ve been a talker and not a doer. If I’m honest, I’ve been a talker for most of my Christian life now. I’ve done plenty of nice, church-y things but that’s not it. Jesus isn’t cool with that and I’m not either. I want to actually follow Jesus. Whatever it takes.
Fears paralyze me when that’s all I’m looking at. But thankfully God’s showing me more of the cross and what Christ has done and who I am in Him. Whatever it takes, I want my heart pure and my feet moving towards Christ.